Skywalker's final farewell

So, first of all, we want to apologize for our delay in adding more intriguing and entertaining gym stories for the past month. We know that you sit on the edge of your seats just waiting for the next Manlyribs post. Our new trainer, Jack, has not given us any truly inspiring information that we think you would find interesting. We will keep you posted on anything worth sharing.

While enjoying each other's company the other day, we realized that we totally forgot to tell you something incredibly important.....we recorded Skywalker's "I quit" conversation. It was too good to not share....mostly because we have concluded that it was completely made up.

When you listen, we want you to notice how he really tries to come off as a hero crusading on behalf of his 'poor helpless clients.' According to the head trainer, Bonaventure, Skywalker left to go back to his job working as a guard at a prison. Say what? He never told us that, especially in this conversation. We should warn you, Skywalker likes to use a lot of profanity. We hope you enjoy.

Listen here





Our next post will hopefully be a picture of this woman who comes to the gym every morning who looks almost exactly like.....Mick Jagger! We will have to be stealthy in our picture taking, but definitely worth it!

Love you like tomatoes and mozzarella cheese!

Another One Bite's the Dust

Skywalker quit today. Apparently he quit to continue his career as a corrections officer for a prison. Say what? He has had a lot of jobs while training us, but never a prison guard.

We are on our way to our 6th trainer.

Love you like.....love you like.....we've got nothing today.

Skywalker's Other Second Job

It just keeps getting better. So far, Skywalker has told us that he moonlights as a manager for bouncers at a series of clubs. He has also told us that his second job is as a body-building competitor. Today, he explained to us that his second job is as a trainer for Marines who can't pass boot camp.

Which is it? And if it's all of them, wouldn't they be his third....and fourth jobs? Is it a counting problem or a lying problem?


Love you like peanut butter and banana!

Is it an oxymoron to be a smoker who exercises?

Every Tuesday and Thursday, this same woman takes step class with us and as soon as she enters the room, there is trail of cigarette smell that follows her. By the end of the class, the entire room smells terrible: cigarette smoke mixed with sweat. Sick. It should be a crime.

Don't you think that it is counterproductive to exercise regularly and smoke? And, isn't that hard on your lungs?

Can we complain? Can we give her some febreze to carry with her? Any ideas?

Love you like marshmallows and graham crackers!

first offense

It is time to sell out my co-blogger.

Question of the day: is it "gym" acceptable to wear a
Halloween T-shirt to the gym in March?

Just remember...I have to work out with this T-shirt wearing friend every day! Don't you all worry... the second offense post will be coming soon!

Love you like french fries & ketchup

strippers, porn stars and more ... oh my!

Skywalker came up to us today just to tell us His new girlfriend of two days is .....an actress in soft porn.

Ps we did not have a scheduled training session today.

Love you like whip cream & strawberries

Skywalker, Chapter 2

When we left off, Skywalker had just moved in with his girlfriend of two weeks. We are sure you will find it completely unsurprising that he and his girlfriend have broken up and logically, he is living in his truck until he is able to move in to his new apartment in two weeks.

He came in really cranky this morning because his body-building sponsors are unhappy that he isn't gaining enough weight. Apparently, he gets paid 40,000 dollars a year to lift weights and look amazing.

And...he also told us that he manages bouncers for clubs at night.

Does this seem as confusing to you as it does to us? He lives in his car with his 40,000 dollar body-building check plus his bouncer check?

But at least he is thriving at work. According to Skywalker, ALL of the other trainers copy all of the moves he has his clients do. Hmmm. We wonder what the other trainers would say.

Did we mention that he has a mohawk?

We know your thinking that we made Skywalker up. We wish we had. Skywalker is the real deal and we will fill you in on his latest drama as we learn of it!

http://manlyribs.blogspot.com/2010/03/love-n-marriage.html

Love you like rootbeer and ice cream!

Laney's Words of Wisdom

Laney, our amazing and amazingly hilarious spin instructor, gives us words of wisdom throughout our hour long workout every Sunday morning. This morning she gave us some doozies that we feel should be shared with others.

After someone left in the middle of class, Laney exclaims, "I hate when people rudely take a bike and then don't stay for the whole class! But, I am actually really happy because now that she is gone, I get to see myself in the mirror."

"Hold on guys, keep going. I have to stop. My bra unsnapped."

"So my friend and her boyfriend have dated for a while. One day, her boyfriend went out to happy hour with....his other girlfriend. Turns out, a news station was there reporting on the restaurant's economic troubles. And, yes, he was caught on live television cheating on his girlfriend.....Girls are so much better than boys, obviously."

"So after you leave here today, I know that all of you want to go to Tops to get a greasy egg and cheese sandwich. If you do that, you will be fat."

Love you like an egg and cheese sandwich!

Love 'N Marriage...

Today at the gym, Skywalker informed us of his two week old relationship.

To sum it up: They now live together, she is a rich "model," her parents own half of coca cola...oh & to top it off...she surprised Skywalker with a meet and greet with her parents at the cheesecake factory.

The next day she got mad that he is back to professional "body building" so she made him sleep in his truck.

Did we mention they have been dating for 2 weeks?
Can't wait to keep you all posted on this blossoming love affair!!!

Love you like Eggs & Grits

911?

Since we have same sex Saunas, this story was told to us by a Male at our gym

Two men got in a heated argument in the Sauna & the police were called.
While working out, Man 1 accidentally hit Man 2 with a weight. Man 1 apologized and decided to relax in the sauna. Man 2 followed Man 1 into the Sauna to express his anger.
A third party had to report the argument because it was getting so heated.
Both men were escorted by the police out of the gym - in handcuffs!

I guess we all need to watch our weights!

Love you like Surf & Turf

Dangit

Today, I (Nicole) tripped on my step in class and ate it. In fact, I ate it twice.

After my butt hit the step, I bounced and kissed the floor.

Kimmy turns to me and screams, "man down." I was in the back and kind of hidden from the mirrors surrounding the whole room. Nobody saw, right?

Love you like peanut butter and chocolate!

The Starer

What's up with people who stare at other people at the gym in a very obvious way?

There is this guy, who wears unusually tight work-out pants and stands outside our step class, just watching. He will walk up the stairs and the entire time, his eyes will be set on the class. This is not just a one-time deal, either. ..we're talking everyday.

Do you think he realizes he is staring? What's up with the tight girl pants?

Love you like hot dogs and macaroni!

PJ's at the Gym?

Why is it that some men think it is socially acceptable to wear pajama bottoms to the gym?
We know it is 5:30 in the morning, but really...

Love you like Beans and Rice!

Laney, the best spin instructor ever!

You know you have an amazing spin instructor when the people taking the class have amazingly ripped bodies and you have to arrive 30 minutes early just to get a ticket to get in. They started giving out tickets recently, because people were arriving at 7:30am on a Sunday to save a bike for a 9:15 class! Yes, you heard right; they arrive two hours early. Are they crazy? This is a Sunday, people! Who spends 3 hours at the gym??

So, we knew the first time going in to Laney's spin class that we were destined for something incredible. Not only does she give away the bikes of people who are not punctual, but she tells the head instructor to "suck it" for closing the door on us and keeping in all of the heat. It's like a comedy hour along with the hardest workout we have ever done in our lives!

She makes new music mixes every single class and takes requests from her students! She learns your name fast and singles you out to work harder and independently of others. Luckily she stands tall at approximately 5'2" and weighs no more than 120lbs, so rather than being scared, we are motivated!

She is an important character for us to introduce, because as you can see, she is the drama and excitement of our Sunday mornings! We will keep you posted the next time she starts a fight with our head trainer or has a brawl with a late arrival!

Love you like biscuits and gravy!

Coffee?

Really people? Coffee at the gym?

Tiffany, the Manager

So we're on vacation right now and that means that we get to sleep in and go to the gym later. The gym is a totally different situation three hours later. First of all, who is available to go to a yoga class at 9:45am on a Thursday? We could barely get a spot in this class. Either everybody besides us has an amazing job where they get to leave for yoga in the mornings or this job crisis is worsening!

But, we digress. What this posting is really about is the general manager of our gym. See, we never get to see this manager, because she has never graced us with her presence at 5:30am. No, she never happens to be there when naked ladies are frolicking around the locker room rubbing yogurt on their bodies. So, we were quite surprised to see her this morning.

One would expect the general manager to come dressed in professional gym clothes showing the clientele that not only does she know business, but she knows gyms. Our manager, we will call her Tiffany, greeted us, well not greeted us, more looked us up and down while wearing a v-neck halter dress with her bosoms popping out and with full make-up.

Our question is, what is she trying to accomplish by wearing these clothes? Is she the only woman in an all male world? Is she trying to sucker men out of their money? How does this sell to women? How are we as the clients, wearing ripped old t-shirts and work-out pants, supposed to feel welcomed by her? Maybe were the ones that have it all wrong. Tomorrow, our work-out wear: high heels and tube top?

Any ideas?

Love you like chips and guacamole!

Today was hideous

We just had magical experience at the gym. Our trainer Skywalker kicked our butts with a full body work-out: push-ups, crunches, stairs, the whole-enchilada. Obviously, its time to relax in the steam room and sauna. We sit down in the steam room, simply to fight our colds, and who sits down next to us. Yes, you guessed it "Naked-Yogurt Lady." She is of course, butt-naked, missing her towel, and unusually wet. She sits down (yes, bare butt on tile), pulls out a container of grape Yoplait non-fat yogurt, and starts smothering her body in it. And yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the second offense of Naked-Yogurt Lady. Disgusted, we leave the steam room and attempt the sauna. The grape-smelling lady follows us! And now she decides to add more yogurt and some very icky-smelling lotion to her hair. At this point, we decide that is officially time to go.

We later discover that yogurt has live cultures that kill bacterial infections on the skin. Therefore, not only was this Naked-Yogurt Lady, this was "Naked-Yogurt I Have an Infection Lady."

Question of the day: What infection could she have?"

Moral of the Story: Please follow the instructions on the sign outside to cover yourself with a towel and refrain from bringing yogurt into the sauna and smothering it on yourself.

We will leave you on our first posting with the salutation that the head trainer, Bellagio, leaves us with every day: "Love you like fish and chips!"

Gym it up!

We are two girls in our 20s who have been going to the same gym together for the past 3 years. In this time, we have had 5 personal trainers, a variety of step, spinning, kickbox, and bootcamp instructors, and have braved the bacteria-infested sauna too many times to count. Because of this, we feel it is a necessity to bring you, the hilarious, disgusting, and unbelievable stories that we have experienced from day-to-day. We hope that all of you gym-goers out there will comment and share your unique experiences as well!